One of the main reasons why I started The Kanga Tribe is that I want to eliminate the stigma that lingers around the term single mom. In passing, I’ve heard a lot of negative connotations that seem to weigh upon the phrase and this comes from all types of dynamics. Whether it be family members who pressure you to date, the seemingly happily married mother looking down on you or the various men trying to pursue your affections. One thing seems certain, to many the utterance of single mother is equal to that of a dirty word. How could a single mother ever be happy or fulfilled without a man?
Well sister, I’ve been on the receiving end of this too. Honestly, it makes me laugh because I maybe many things but unhappy and unfulfilled do not even come close to making the list.
Sometimes go without for the sake of my daughter √
Wish that I could add an extra 8 hours to the day √
But definitely not unhappy and unfulfilled and I’ll tell you why…
I’ve spent years upon years trying to fit into the monogamy stereotype and over the course of those years have very little to show for it. I have worked tirelessly on relationships and building a future with someone only to walk away with close to nothing. I’ve left houses, furniture, vehicles and equity in life behind only to be at square one. Now for the first time in my life, I have been given the opportunity to work on building a life the way that I want to for myself and my daughter. That prospect doesn’t make me unhappy, it thrills me.
So I refuse to be bitter and put down by others on the fact that I am a single mother. By remaining single, I do not have to qualify my time to anyone except my daughter. I can take my professional life in any way that I choose. If I want to take the time to learn a new language or take a class on Coursera, I can. If I want to take my daughter on a little adventure, we can leave at a moments notice. Drinks with friends over the weekend, why certainly! Dye my hair a crazy color on a whim, yup I can do that too. Or I can even start a blog and spend all my time working on it if I choose. 😉
During this time, I’m building my little slice of heaven. My dream life for myself and my daughter. It’ll take a lot of hard work and dedication to get where I want us to be but we’re worth it. So no, I won’t be pursuing any other relationships in the near future. I don’t have to explain it to you or try to satisfy your curiosity. Stop pestering me to go out with you. All of those perfect Moms and family members can throw all the shade at me that they want. I can take it. This time I’m betting on something that I can count on…myself. I’ll build my own empire as a single parent and you know what, that feels pretty damn good.
Well there is my rant of the day! As a single parent, have you faced the same scrutiny that I have? Let me know in the comments below! Until next time Kangas! Stay strong, radiate positivity and love fiercely!